Letting Go And Moving On
by Black Knight 03
Summary: What if fic. Gordo thinks about his feelings for Lizzie and how he has to let go after she accepts a record deal in Europe. One-sided LG, MG
1. Letting Go

Disclaimer – Disney owns Lizzie McGuire

tormented soul – Thanks for your help with this story.

A/N – _"Thoughts"_ , This is a 'what if' story. What if Lizzie decided to accept a music contract after the IMVAs and moved to Europe.

A/N 2 – Due to the crackdown on lyrics in fics, I've edited this and taken out the song lyrics.

Part 1 – Letting Go

Gordo sat on the deck in the back of his house and let his feet dangle into the water of his family's pool. It was the weekend before they would start high school but Gordo couldn't help but notice that something would be missing, or rather someone. Lizzie.

Lizzie had decided to accept one of the recording contracts she had been offered after the IMVAs and started a singing career in Europe with Isabella's help.

When she had asked for his advice, he didn't know what to say. He wanted to say no, he didn't want to let her go. He had known Lizzie since birth and the longest they had been apart was a few weeks cause of family vacations. If she left, they'd be a continent and an ocean apart. But he couldn't say no, he just wanted her to be happy.

But it wasn't just friendship clouding his judgment. Gordo was in love with Lizzie and if he encouraged her to leave, it'd meant letting go of those feelings. There was no way two teenagers could maintain a romantic relationship that far apart. Plus, he wasn't even sure if there was anything there to even base anything on.

So he told her to follow her heart and he would support her no matter what she decided. It hurt him a little when her heart told her to go to Europe. Lizzie had left two weeks ago.

Miranda had just came back from Mexico when she found out what Lizzie had decided. She barely had any time to even say good-bye to her.

As Gordo stared out into the pool water, he tried to ignore the pain. It was like his insides were being twisted. Everything reminded him of Lizzie and his feelings for her. He kept thinking over and over, _"Why didn't I say something sooner? Tell her how I feel. Say something, say anything."_

No matter what he tried to do, he couldn't stop thinking about her and how much he missed her.

Gordo knew he should move on, had to move on. He'd just drive himself crazy constantly think about all the 'what ifs'. But he couldn't ignore the pain he felt. His heart felt like it was shattered into a billion pieces.

His parents told him he'd never truly forget her and they'd always be close friends but he'd slowly feel less awkward and less aware about her absence. _"I wonder if my feelings for her will go away after a time too?"_

He thought about all the times he had been there for her. When she was upset that Danny, Ethan, and the rest of her crushes never noticed her. The moments they had shared in the library. He remembered two times in particular.

Lizzie had been invited to Danny Kessler's pool party but couldn't go because it was her Grandmother's birthday. They had been in the back of the library, in between some of the racks, playing war.

He had been listening to her whine about not being able to go to a party he wasn't even invited too. She was also complaining about how Miranda was now going without her and hanging out with Kate and her little group. He bit his tongue and played the role of the supportive best friend.

When she was complaining about Miranda, _"My best friend was going to go without me,"_ he told her.

_"So you can't go either?"_

_"I wasn't invited."_

_"Oh. That stinks."_

_"It's the kind of thing you get use to."_

_"So, your best friend still gonna go?"_

_"Turns out she can't, its her Grandmother's birthday."_

The second time was when that jerk Ronnie had dumped her. She had annoyed Miranda and him to no end because Ronnie was all she'd talked about for that entire week. A few days prior, he had let Miranda cry on his shoulder after a fight she had gotten into about the jerk.

He had been walking through the library when he found her sitting at a table, sniffling and crying as she was tearing pages of her notebook into confetti.

Being the good guy he was, he stopped and asked her what was wrong. She told him Ronnie had dumped her for another girl at his school. If he hadn't wanted to do before, he really wanted to beat the crap out of him now.

_"She's probably smarter, prettier, and more fun to be with than me."_

_"No she's not."_

_"How do you know?"_

_"Cause there's no one prettier or more fun to be with than you."_

_"You forgot smarter."_

_"Well, I was including myself in that,"_ he had joked and got the desired smile from her.

When she smiled, he felt butterflies in his stomach. He'd almost spilled his guts and told her he'd liked her. But he choked and clamed up.

Gordo hadn't realized until she left just how much of his world centered around Lizzie. Now he felt like there was missing piece, a big piece. Every time he closed his eyes, he'd picture her smiling face. It was weird; he never realized just how much it changed his day just to have her near him.

He had once loved dreaming about her. In his dreams, Gordo wasn't the coward he felt like he was in real life. He could tell her how he felt without fear of rejection. But now those same dreams just seemed to be haunting him. Showing him the life he couldn't have because he was too afraid to take a chance.

She was gone. Gordo didn't know when the next time he'd talk to her much less see her again.

Gordo sighed as he kicked the water and watched the ripples shoot across the surface. He missed her.

She was the eternal optimist; always believing things would work out in the end. Lizzie made him actually see the good in the world, that everything had a silver lining somewhere.

Now he was forced to face the life without her. To him, real life seemed to get just a touch darker.

He hoped his parents were right; that the more time passed the easier it would be to accept that Lizzie was gone. But he wasn't sure if time would heal this wound, it was too deep.

He didn't want to face the reality of the situation. That not only the girl he had a huge crush on was gone but so was his closest friend.

But it wasn't all bad, it wasn't like she was dead. She could still talk to him online and trade emails. Contact wouldn't be completely cut off but it would be severely limited. _"But it still won't be the same."_

"I don't even know if she liked me back as anything more than a best friend and here I am acting like she was the love of my life. Who am I kidding she never liked me like that. That kiss on the roof was nothing but a thank you. She wants guys like Danny, Ethan, Ronnie…Paolo."

The last name made him cringe and angrier over him than the other boys. She had blown him off to be with the fake. Even though he had tried to warn her something wasn't right, she wouldn't believe him.

"Hell, I showed up with Isabella and she still really didn't believe me."

Looking up at the night sky, _"Maybe someone up there is trying to tell me something. Tell me she isn't the one. Maybe I should be with some one who'd wipe away my tears, be there for me when I'm scared."_ He then laughed sarcastically. _"Yea right. Who the hell would do that for me."_

As if on cue, he heard the screen door behind him open.

"Hey," the familiar voice said as she walked up to him. Sitting down next to him, Miranda took her shoes off and let her feet dangle in the water. "You ok?" she asked, her question holding a deeper meaning.

Gordo just shrugged. "Everyone tells me it'll get easier but I'm not so sure."

"It will," Miranda said wrapping an arm around his waist. Hugging him, "She was my best friend, my sister, but I'm not even gonna try and imagine what you're going through but the pain will slowly fade. It won't go away but it'll get easier to deal with eventually."

Gordo looked at her for a moment, "Its not so much the friendship I'm having a hard time dealing with its,"

"I know Gordo, I know." Miranda than moved closer to him and tightened her grip on his waist. "I'm sorry I pushed you so hard to tell her."

Without giving it much thought, he wrapped his own arm around her waist. "How could you know? Besides I needed the kick in the ass. I was gonna tell her in Rome, than…well…Paolo was kinda of the final straw. When she blew me off, it hurt and it made me realize that maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

Gordo sighed and hung his head. "I just want to find a girl who'll be there for me like I am for her. Lizzie is there for the important stuff but just as a friend. Brooke was too clingy, she wanted to be together all the time. Parker, maybe, but I don't think I can completely get over getting turned down cause I was short."

Miranda felt butterflies start to crash around in her stomach. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she looked away for a moment. _"You can do this. Tell him. It'll make both of you feel better. You can't keep denying this and now you can't use Lizzie as an excuse any more."_

Taking a deep breath and summoning her courage, she looked back at him. "Gordo," she said her voice cracking a little.

"Hmm," Gordo said but didn't lift his head up.

Clearing her throat, "You'll find her."

He snickered under his breath, "Yea? So where is she?"

Miranda thought her heart was going to smash out through her chest it was beating so hard. Reaching out with her free hand, she touched her fingertips to his chin and lifted and turned his head so he was looking at her. "She may be closer than you think."

With that, she leaned in and lightly bushed her lips against his.

Pulling back, she looked at him in fear. He held her heart in his hands and it terrified her.

"I'm not over Lizzie," he told her. Gordo watched Miranda look away from him and started to move away from him. He quickly tightened his grip and kept her at his side. Touching her chin, he turned her face like she did before with him. "But when I do, I hope you still feel the same way."

He grinned as he watched her eyes go wide for a moment with realization. When she smiled his grin widened into a smile.

"This as gotta be one of the signs of the Apocalypse," he joked as he pressed his forehead against her's.

"The two of us together? Hell must've frozen over," she shot back.

As Gordo looked at her, it felt like the blinders that had been covering his eyes had been lifted. _"How come I never noticed how beautiful Miranda is before?"_

"Gordo." Miranda watched Gordo blink, as if snapping out of daydream, and his eyes focus on her's. _"I wonder where he was just then."_ Pushing the thought aside, she took a deep breath, "As much as I like you and really want to be with you, I don't want to be your rebound girl."

"I don't want that either. I care about you too much to play you like that." He than smiled for a moment, "And I don't want to be your rebound guy."

Miranda looked at him confused for a moment. "What are you talking about?"

Gordo started snickering, "Well, you got dumped by a McGuire too."

She looked at him for a moment, completely confused, and then suddenly, it hit her. While she tried to fight it, a smile spread across her face and she laughed, "I told you, we never talk about that again."

"Too bad," Gordo said, amusement still in his voice, "I like embarrassing you." Slowly the smile turned into a small grin as he looked at her for a moment, "You're cute when you get all flustered."

Miranda quickly looked away shyly, her face reddened a little, but the corners of her mouth were twitching upward.

"Sorta of like this," Gordo whispered in her ear.

"Shutup," she said softly and Gordo laughed a little at her.

For the next hour or so, they sat side by side on the edge of the pool. After a brief conversation about going back to school and starting High School, they sat in silence and listened to the night sounds around them.

Gordo slowly picked his hand up and just as slowly, put it over Miranda's. Gordo glanced over at Miranda nervously and saw Miranda looking back at him out of the corner of her eyes.

She slid her hand out from underneath his hand and moved it so she was now holding his hand. As they tentatively intertwined their fingers, they smiled shyly at each other.

Miranda watched Gordo looked back down at the water for a moment and could tell he was thinking hard about something. "What is it?"

"I'm trying to think of something profound to say but I'm not sure what."

Snickering a little, Miranda grinned. "You don't have to say something profound," she said mocking him a little. "Just say the first thing that pops into your head. No matter what it is."

"The first thing?" Gordo said a little wary and she nodded. "Ok." He then cleared his mind and said the first thing that came to him, "You're beautiful."

Miranda sat there stunned for a moment. "What?"

"You're beautiful," he told her again with a grin, "You said to say the first thing that popped into my head and that was it."

After a few minutes of silence, Miranda try to casually look over at him. "When you do get over Lizzie, you'll tell me?"

He looked at her with a small smile and lightly squeezed her hand, "You'll be the first person I tell."


	2. Moving On

The original version of this story was longer but when I posted it, I decided to cut some of it. After the reaction I got from the first part, I decided to take the part I cut, rewrite it, and make a second part.

A/N – _"Thoughts"_

Part 2 – Moving On

It was New Year's Eve and Miranda was at Greg Nicholas' New Year's Party. Greg Nicholas was a senior and one of the starters on the Hill Ridge varsity basketball team. Most of the High School was there and the three-story house was packed.

As Miranda weaved her way through the crowded house, a small smile tugged at her lips as she thought about Gordo.

It was hard for her to keep her emotions in check and be around him almost everyday. At first it hurt watching him walk around in a fog, she could tell how deep his feelings for Lizzie had been. But after a month or so, Gordo slowly started to turn around. He finally seemed to come to terms with Lizzie being a continent away and getting used to it.

Around Thanksgiving, she started to notice a big change in Gordo's behavior towards her. They loved teasing each other and arguing over stuff, and it always had a very subtly flirting undercurrent to it. But during Thanksgiving break, the flirting started to increase. Then at Christmas, they had shared their second kiss. It was simple and innocent, just like the first.

While she had told him she could wait for him, it was getting harder. A part of her wanted to know what it'd be like to take things farther. _"But he's not ready,"_ she thought to herself sarcastically. _"Then of course that stupid email from Liz had to make him cranky. I just hope he's in a better mood tonight."_

Finally making her way into the living room, she spotted Gordo standing with a group of people. She instantly recognized Ethan and a bunch of other guys from the freshman basketball team.

She snickered under her breath, as she thought of Gordo being the starting shooting guard on the team. Ethan had convinced him to come tryout with him and he not only made the team but was also named a starter.

As she walked towards him, she noticed Kate and a few of the other freshman cheerleaders in the group. She noticed one in particular, Nicole Brahms, trying to flirt with Gordo. It was one of the things that Miranda truly hated about Gordo being on the basketball team. His popularity was starting to rise and girls were starting to notice him.

But she smirked as she saw Gordo's expression. He had on a polite smile but his eyes gave away his annoyance. When Gordo saw her walking to them, his smile changed into a genuine one and his eyes softened.

As she walked up she heard Ethan and Gordo talking about varsity jackets. "What about varsity jackets?" Miranda asked as she stood next to Gordo, in between him and Nicole. As she waited for an answer, she quickly glared at Nicole. _"I haven't been fighting Lizzie's shadow just to have another girl steal him from me."_

She could hear Gordo laughing softly under his breath but she didn't care.

"When I make Varsity next year, you gonna wear my jacket?" Gordo joked to her.

Miranda looked at him and with a smile, "Only if you wear mine." Miranda had played JV soccer during the fall and the freshman softball coach was trying to get her to tryout.

"Deal," Gordo said and they both started laughing. He then leaned in and whispered into her ear, "You can withdraw the claws now."

Miranda blushed a little and elbowed Gordo's ribs as he started laughing under his breath again.

After a few more minutes of talking and hanging out, Gordo took Miranda's hand, "Can I talk to you."

She looked at him a little confused and furrowed her eyebrows. "Sure."

Gordo lead them through the house and finally out onto the deck in the back of the house. As they leaned against the railing, she looked over at him. "What is it?"

"I wanted to apologize for blowing you off the past couple of days," he said as he seemingly became fascinated by the railing.

A few days ago, Gordo had gotten an email from Lizzie. When he had read how much fun she was having and how much she loved being there, he got a little moody for a few days.

"Lizzie's letter throw you that much?" she asked softly, trying to keep the hurt of her voice.

He just shrugged. "I don't think it was so much the letter but that she was having so much fun there and here I'm stuck trying to get over her." Standing up straight, he shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "Enough. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being a jerk."

"Don't worry about it, I get it," Miranda said trying to ignore her hurt pride. She knew this could and probably would happen since she opened herself up to him when he wasn't over Lizzie.

"But you shouldn't have to," Gordo said, the frustration in his voice. "You shouldn't have to deal with me getting cranky every time I hear from Lizzie."

"Gordo, shut up," Miranda ordered as she grabbed his hips and spun him so he was facing her. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Ok," he said while nodding. "You look nice tonight." Gordo told her. She was wearing a black t-shirt with the British flag in gold printed across it, a pair of black jeans, and a pair of black and white sketchers. "What is it with you and the Union Jack?" he said trying to lighten up the tense situation.

"Uh?" Miranda asked a little confused.

He pointed at the flag on her shirt. "The Union Jack is another name for the British flag. Like how the US flag is nicknamed Old Glory and," Before he could go on, Miranda pressed a finger to his lips to shut him up.

When he kissed her finger, she tried to ignore the way her skin goose bumped. Brushing the feeling aside, "Looking at my chest Gordo?" she said sarcastically. Miranda giggled a little when Gordo wiggled his eyebrows and smirked at her.

"Do you want to know or not?" He kept his mouth shut and motioned with his hands for her to continue. "Aside from the fact that I like the design, when I get older, like out of college, I want to travel for awhile. Two of the places I really want to go are Ireland and Great Britain. I want to go see the Irish country side and the shop in London."

Gordo grinned as he listened to her. "So do you have a shirt with the Irish flag on it?" he joked. When she glared at him, he just smiled back at her. "You by yourself on this trip?" He didn't even think about it, the question just came out naturally.

A small smile played on Miranda's lips as she looked at him. "I don't know, maybe. If I found the right person."

They smiled at each other. When Gordo opened his mouth to say something, they were interrupted as James, one of Gordo's teammates, walked out onto the deck and interrupted them. "Yo Dave, the ball's bout to drop."

As Gordo rolled his eyes at being interrupted, Miranda snickered. It was still weird for her to hear people call him David or Dave. When they entered high school, he started going by his real name. Every once in awhile someone would call him Gordo but it'd usually be Ethan or Larry. But to her, he would always be Gordo and she couldn't wait for the day to call him my Gordo.

"Thanks," he said to her.

Miranda looked at him confused, "Por que?"

His smile returned, "For making me smile." Miranda snickered and rolled her eyes as he drew her in and hugged her.

They made it back inside just as the drop was on its final ten seconds.

As everyone, including Miranda, counted down around him. He looked at her and felt something stir inside him. _"Its time."_

Just as they got to zero, it seemed like everything slowed down to Gordo. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulling her to him, he kissed her. But this time it wasn't a quick, little kiss; this one held three months worth of pent up passion. Once Miranda got over the shock and surprise of the kiss, she started kissing him back just as hard.

After a few minutes, they broke apart gasping for air. Miranda looked at him with a mix of desire, happiness, and caution.

Taking her hand, he intertwined their fingers. "Let's blow off the rest of this party. I wanna talk in private." Gordo lead them through the crowd and out of the house. They started walking down the street, neither really sure what to say.

After about ten minutes, they found themselves in the park. As they passed the swing set, Gordo grinned. Tugging her arm a little, he motioned with his head towards the swings. Miranda snickered and let Gordo lead her over to them.

Miranda sat in the swing and Gordo pushed her. When she started laughing like a little girl when Gordo was pushing her higher and higher, it cracked him up and he started laughing. That was one of things he loved about her, whenever he was upset or moody, she could always make him smile and laugh.

Gordo watched her jump from the swing and land gracefully on her feet.

She cocked her head a little as she looked back at him, almost as if studying him and trying to figure out what was new about him.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure," Miranda replied cautiously.

Miranda sat back down in the swing and Gordo sat in the swing next to her.

After a few moments of silence, Gordo swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. "Its time I let go of my past and that huge ghost that's been haunting me."

"What do you mean?" Miranda asked her voice barely over a whisper. _"I am not going to get my hopes up."_

"I told you that you would be the first person I'd tell when I was over Lizzie. Well, I'm telling you that I'm over Lizzie."

Looking down at the ground for a moment, Miranda felt like her head was spinning. Standing up, she walked away a few steps and then stopped.

"Rand?"

"How can you be sure? I want to believe you but I don't want to get hurt," Miranda said as she turned around and looked at him.

"Come here," Gordo said while motioning her over. When she was standing in front of him, he put his hands on her waist and looked up at her. "You have been so supportive of letting me deal with everything on my time and you have no idea what the means to me. When I got her latest letter, it did hurt a little but it also made me realize that I can't rely on her for my happiness. I need to start living my life again. Find something new that makes me happy."

"Gordo, I don't want to just replace Lizzie."

"You wouldn't be. I'd never do that to you, I could never intentionally hurt you." Pulling her in closer, he wrapped his arms around her waist. "There will always be a small part of my heart that'll belong to Lizzie, she is a big part of my life. But I think that we can really be something, if you're still willing."

Miranda sighed and stroked his hair. "Of course."

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked her.

She smiled softly as she looked down at him. "Yes." She then leaned down and kissed him.

Gordo stood up and wrapped her tightly in a hug. Miranda hugged him back, rested her chin on his shoulder, closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling. "We should be heading home. My curfew is two," Miranda said.

"We should be doing a lot of things," Gordo joked as he nuzzled her neck a little. He was getting addicted to her scent, _"Smells like wild flowers,"_ he thought with a grin. "You're the one who's always telling me to loosen up."

His breath on her neck sent a chill down her spine. "Yea but do you want to have our first date now or wait a month?" she joked back. She then shifted her head and brought her lips into contact with his.

"Fine," he mumbled against her lips. Letting go of each other, they started walking out of the park and the rest of the way home.

It took them about fifteen minutes, but they were finally standing on the Sanchez front porch. As Gordo threaded her hair through his fingers, Miranda playfully swatted his hand away. It quickly became a game between them. "You look good with the dark red streaks," he said with a smirk.

Miranda snorted and looked at him sarcastically.

"I was thinking."

"Which is never a good sign," Miranda teased.

"Shut up Mirando," he shot back. They both started laughing at each other. "Seriously, I think we should go out to dinner Saturday. There's a small Greek restaurant I want to take you to."

Miranda grinned at him, "I'd like that." Just as they started their goodnight kiss, the front porch light came on and the front door opened.

The person at the door cleared their throat and Miranda and Gordo turned to see Mrs. Sanchez grinning at them from the doorway.

"Hi mom."

"Mrs. Sanchez."

"Hello Gordo, hija. I think its time you came inside Miranda," she told her daughter but never loosing her smile.

"I'll talk to ya later," Miranda said and then gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "Night."

"Night," Gordo said back to her and then watched them go inside. With a smile, Gordo walked off the porch, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and headed towards his house.

Just as he reached the street, his cell phone went off. Reaching into his pocket, Gordo pulled it out and smiled as he saw the caller id displayed Mir. Turning it on, he answered it, "Hey beautiful."


	3. Past Comes Calling

I have always planned on creating a third part to this story, it was more of a question of when and if I could find the time to actually write it. But when FF's new rule made me change Part 1, I wasn't sure I wanted to continue this. My muse had other ideas though, and the past few weeks, I got inspired to write this final part. Hope you like it.

I've also started a LiveJournal, my homepage link on my profile page, to post rants, writing updates, random stuff, whatever strikes me. If you've got a question about something or just want talk, you can find me there or you can still email me. Also, if your going to leave a comment about something being confusing or something, leave me a way to contact you and maybe I can explain it for you. Had this happen in a review for A New Fairytale.

Jennifer10 – Thanks for the help. What was supposed to be just one new part is now looking like three. Thanks a lot, lol.

A/N – _"Thoughts"_

Part 3 – Past Comes Calling

Lizzie grinned a little as she stood with Gordo on the same rooftop they did almost two years ago. It had been a long time, close to two years, since she had seen her best friends. Sure they frequently emailed each other, occasionally IMed, and rarely talked on the phone but it just wasn't the same as being in person.

Getting a small break in her schedule, Lizzie set up a trip to have Miranda and Gordo come visit her in Rome while they were on summer vacation. So the second week of summer vacation, Miranda and Gordo flew out for their two week visit. While she did miss her old friends, it wasn't the entire reason she had asked them to come, or at least for Gordo to come.

The summer she left, things were confusing between Gordo and her. They were standing at the line that separated them from being best friends and a couple. Gordo was giving her mixed signals and when she had kissed him, he said thank you. She didn't know what to make of it. Then when she got the offer to record in Rome, the first person she had talked to about was Gordo.

She remembered his advise, _"Follow your heart and no matter what or where you are, I got your back."_ Lizzie had spent a moment looking at him, _"If he did have feelings for me, wouldn't he have said that he wanted me to stay? But then again, this is Gordo, he'd never stop me from taking a chance of a life time like this. Why are boys so confusing?"_

After a lot of deliberation, she took the offer. In hindsight, she knew something was bothering Gordo; she should've seen all the tell tale signs. But she was too busy getting ready and too excited to focus on anything outside of Rome.

As time went on, she began to miss the small things but convinced herself that her hard work would pay off. Still, it was hard because she felt like she was by herself. While her mother was with her almost constantly, her father and brother were back in Hill Ridge along with her friends. Most of her time was spent either with school work from her tutor or in singing lessons and the little free time she had was spent hanging out in her new apartment. It took her awhile to get used to her new lifestyle but Lizzie soon got comfortable with her schedule and started going out more. Of course, always under her mother's watchful eye.

It was in the beginning of November, she started noticing that her best friends emails started talking about the other friend a lot more. It wasn't that they were hanging out together more without her around, they had become better friends during Junior High, but some of the stuff they did and talked about, sounded awfully a lot like a couple.

Around the same time, Lizzie had been at an industry party, bored out of her mind, when she met another struggling performer and the plus was, he spoke english. Lizzie was still working on her italian, she had a good knowledge but it wasn't perfect, and was a little self conscious using it. So it was easier and much more comfortable talking to him in english than trying to talk to the business people in a mix of english and italian. They exchanged emails and when their schedules matched, they would hang out. Nothing had really happened yet, aside from a little flirting, but it made her feel better after reading how close Miranda and Gordo were getting.

Around Thanksgiving, in one of his emails, Gordo mentioned something changing between Miranda and him, them getting closer. Something stirred in her, the same thing that always stirred in her when another girl came between her and Gordo. Unfortunately this time, they were an ocean apart and the other girl was her closest female friend. Letting it cloud her judgment, she wrote back to Gordo, saying how she was having a wonderful time and meeting incredible new people, in particular, the boy she had been hanging out with. She wasn't sure why she told Gordo this, maybe she was jealous or maybe she wanted to make sure he knew that she had a life outside him. Whatever the reason, she feared his reaction.

A few days after New Year's, she got an email from Gordo. It told her that Miranda and him were together, and he revealed everything, their pool side talk and New Year's party to name a few.

Every time, one of them emailed and talked about them, together, Lizzie felt a little hurt. She never fully realized that while she knew Gordo liked her, that she liked him back just as much. She never took the time to explore her own feelings, only focusing on trying to figure out his.

As the year came to a close, it had become easier to handle Gordo and Miranda together, mainly cause she didn't have to actually see them together and her life in Italy was growing. Around Easter of her second year, she started getting the idea of having them come to visit her, couple or not, but then she started getting messages that Miranda and Gordo were fighting. _"No big surprise, they were always bickering about something."_

This time, however, it seemed to be worse. They were fighting most of the time they were together and about stupid stuff as well. By the end of May, they broke up, both saying they did it before they ended up hating each other and to save their friendship, which was far more important.

It was the idea of a free Gordo, that made really her throw together the plan to have them come visit. She wasn't going to let a second chance slip through her fingers. Lizzie was going to flirt, charm, and do whatever it took to get Gordo's interest and ask him to stay with her. While in reality, the plan had many flaws, in her head, where it mattered, everything made perfect sense.

Tonight was the night she was going to ask him to stay with her. While at first, Gordo had been a bit cold to her attempts he had slowly warmed up.

"Beautiful night, isn't it?" she said, walking up to him.

Gordo grunted as he continued to stare out at the skyline. Lizzie could tell his mind was somewhere else but she intended on bringing him back here.

"Gordo," Lizzie said softly reaching out and trailing her fingers down his arm to his hand.

"Do you think I try to analyze things too much?" Gordo asked suddenly.

Jerking her hand back, Lizzie titled her head and looked at him confused. "What?"

Stuffing his hands into his pant's pockets, "Miranda says I try to analyze things too much. Rationalize everything. Like this happened cause of that and not just let stuff happen." He looked over at her, "Ya think that's why she doesn't like me anymore?"

Lizzie stood there with an almost stunned and dumbfounded look on her face, _"He's thinking about Miranda?"_ Studying him for a moment, she quickly recovered and countered with, "Maybe you're just too similar. Both need to be the dominant one, high drives to succeed. You two have been banging heads since you were like six." Moving so she was in front him, "I think you need someone who'll compliment you, not challenge," she said as she reached out and took his hands in hers.

Now Gordo was starting to realize what was going on around him, "Lizzie?" he asked her confused.

She smiled softly at him, "I made a mistake letting you go once, I'm not gonna do it again."

"What are you trying to say?"

Stepping closer to him, "I've miss you Gordo. When you told me to listen to my heart, I didn't. At least completely. I thought I did but I didn't really listen to what it was saying. But I want to fix that right now." Lizzie took a deep breath and then moved so her face was inches in front of his, "I want you to stay in Rome with me." She then lowered her lips to his but instead of a kiss, as soon as he felt her lips, Gordo pulled back and quickly got out of Lizzie's grip.

"Lizzie stop," Gordo told her as he saw the look of confusion and a little hurt cross over her face, "We can't."

"What?" she asked softly, barely getting the words out. "Why?"

Gordo looked at her for a moment, trying to recover from the automatic, guilty feeling he felt and also trying to pick his words just right. "You honestly expect me to give up everything back home, just so I can follow you around," Gordo said and when Lizzie looked down, a little ashamed, he knew she was starting to realize what she was asking him to do. "You came here to follow a dream, your dream. If I stayed with you, no matter how tempting it actually is, its just…not my dream."

Lizzie slowly nodded, still refusing to meet his eyes. "I know," she said and then finally looked up, "I had to try." Gordo swallowed and bit his lip at seeing Lizzie's eyes. _"I'm not gonna cry, especially not in front of Gordo."_

Taking a shaky, steadying breath, "I guess we missed our chance."

Gordo shrugged slightly, "At least for now."

Lizzie shook her head, "No Gordo, we did. I waited too long to realize my feelings. By the time I did, you had fallen for someone else and she was smart not waiting to snatch you up. You're one of the few good guys."

Now Gordo really felt like an ass, here he was turning her down and she was still complementing him. "But me and her," he started to say.

"Gordo, you two may not be together right now but the first words out of your mouth up here…made me realize, you're still crazy about her." Lizzie rubbed the back of her hand underneath her nose, trying very hard to keep herself together, _"I got to let him go. Its not fair to anybody. Its so obvious and I was too caught up in my plan to realize it."_

"Lizzie, I," he started to say but Lizzie shook her head from side to side.

Slowly backing away from him, and trying not to just run in tears, Lizzie barely kept herself together, "I'm, I'm…uh…gonna go, back downstairs."

Gordo just watched her quickly spin around and walk quickly to the roof stairwell that would lead down a floor to the elevator. Turning back to the skyline, Gordo ran a hand through his hair as he added something else to his list of things to think about.

A few seconds later, as she road down in the elevator, Lizzie closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall. "_Maybe this was for the best. Its time to let him go and move on, he obviously as."_ She took a deep breath to try and steady herself, _"He's right, it was stupid to ask him to give up everything. I've got to stop using him as my safety net, it's time for me to stand on my own two feet. I've done a good job so far. A few new friends, my career is starting to gain momentum."_ Softly biting her lip, _"Than why does it still hurt?"_


	4. No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

A/N – "_Thoughts"_

Part 4 – No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

Miranda was slowly pacing around her room like a caged animal as fury, jealously, and anger mixed with hurt and sadness.

After they had broken up, Miranda had thought maybe sometime apart would do them some good. It had to a point; but then when Lizzie had invited them to visit, she couldn't exactly say no and miss a second chance to see the Eternal City. Plus, as much as she wanted to, Miranda couldn't make herself ask Gordo to stay home. So they talked, and agreed that they could spend some time together and not try and rip each other's throats out.

The truce lasted almost two days.

The first day in Rome, Miranda watched as Lizzie was a bit overly friendly with Gordo. She tried hard to ignore it, making herself believe that Lizzie just missed him. It wasn't a complete lie but wasn't the complete truth either.

She also didn't want to create any drama and more tension than there already was. So she bit her tongue. It also helped that Gordo seemed oblivious to most of it, he was never one to pick up on the subtle signs of a girl interested in him.

It was the second day when things started to get worse. They had gone sight seeing and Lizzie started flirting with Gordo more openly, while at the same time, Miranda tried to fool herself again. As the day went on, it seemed like Gordo was starting to wake up and notice it. By the time they went out to dinner that night, he had even started to flirt back a little. As the two kept going back and forth, it took most of Miranda's self control to not lunge over the table at one of them, especially at Gordo's throat. When they had reached the lobby of their hotel after dinner, Miranda and Gordo were in the mist of their first fight in Rome. Miranda had made a snide comment about Gordo, he shot back, and it quickly escalated. Lizzie had tried to stop them but was virtually ignored as they continued to argue all the way back to their rooms. They argued all the way up their rooms until they slammed their respective doors.

The hotel was another thing that had irked Miranda. Lizzie's apartment was too small for everyone, so she had booked and paid for three rooms in a hotel in the city. Lizzie and Miranda would have one room with Mrs. McGuire having an adjoining room and Gordo across the hall. Miranda was almost positive that Lizzie had chosen this hotel on purpose as it was the same one that Lizzie and Gordo had stayed in two years ago.

As the days passed, things just got worse, and by the middle of the second week, Miranda and Gordo could barely be near each other without taking shots at one another. In a futile effort to keep some semblance of peace, Lizzie tried to do separate things with them. Unfortunately, it just seemed to make things worse as she, unintentionally, ended up spending the majority of her time with Gordo. It didn't help that when Miranda and Lizzie did spend time together, somehow, the topic of conversation seemed to return to Gordo.

Miranda continued to bite her tongue, not wanting to tarnish the limited time she had with her best friend, but it was getting very difficult and she was barely reeling in her explosive temper. Sharing a room together didn't help the matter.

Everytime Lizzie would ask or say something about Gordo, Miranda would get annoyed and deep down, hurt. She felt like Lizzie didn't care that she was not only fighting with Gordo but had just gone through a very messy breakup with him just a few months ago. "_Maybe two years away and living the high life as changed her,"_ Miranda thought bitterly. "_Are we still best friends or are we just hanging onto the past?"_

This particular morning though, she had had enough and snapped at Lizzie. It had started with Miranda reluctantly agreeing to go out to breakfast with Lizzie at an outdoor café that was near their hotel. While it had started out fine, Miranda could see it coming.

Eventually, the conversation came around to Gordo. Lizzie started on about how much fun she had with Gordo the previous night, and after a few minutes, Miranda was crushing her napkin in her white knuckled fist, barely resisted the urge to reach out and slap her. Instead, she settled for snapping at her, "You just don't get it."

Lizzie looked at her in surprise and confusion, her mouth still open as she had stopped in mid-sentence. It just seemed to intensify Miranda's anger, "God, you just don't get it," she repeated as she threw her napkin down on the table and stormed off.

As she walked back into the hotel and made her way up to her floor, she passed Gordo who was walking the opposite way down the hallway. Miranda just reached back and with all her strength, slapped Gordo hard across the face, "You fucking pig."

Rubbing his jaw as he was caught off guard by Miranda's first swing, he quickly dodged the follow up swings. "What the hell?" he snarled back, "What I do now?"

"Now that you got Lizzie back, you don't give a damn about my feelings, right? Obviously, I didn't mean shit to you. Well guess what, even if you are smarter than everyone else, you're still nothing but a little boy who doesn't know shit about life." Without realizing it, Miranda's anger had turning into sadness, and always one to wear her heart on her sleeve, her voice started to crack and her eyes threaten to cry. "_Keep it together, damn it! There's no way in hell I'm going to cry in front of this asshole."_

"Oh for the love of, stop with this wounded little angel crap. You're the one who couldn't handle us. You picked a fight over every little thing and then blamed me for it." Gordo gave her an evil smirk as he felt the need to hurt her emotionally, "Though, it's nice actually being with a girl and not have her jump down my throat. Well…unless you count her tongue."

Miranda's face scrunched up as she felt the verbal blow. "Fuck you," she said softly as she pushed him away and walked quickly down the hall towards her room.

"Yea, walk away. It's what you're good at!" Gordo yelled at her retreating back.

Miranda reached her room and after slamming the door behind her, collapsed onto her bed and cried for a few hours. Even though she thought he was a good for nothing jackass, it didn't mean she was over him and everything he'd say to her, would cut deeply. Slowly, as she let it all out, the sadness went back to anger. After beating the crap out of her pillow, imagining it was either Lizzie or Gordo, she started thinking about her next move as she began to pace around the room.

As much as she wanted to run back home, another part of her, the fighter, wanted one last face off with both or either, she didn't really care. "_First come, first served."_ Miranda just wanted to give out as much pain as she received. Getting to her feet, she flung the door open and wildly looked up and down the hall for any sign of either one of them. "_They said something about the roof."_

With Miranda and Gordo's room across the hall from the other, she had heard Lizzie and Gordo talking in the hallway a hour or so ago. She couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, most of the conversation was muffled, but she had heard Lizzie say something about going up to the roof.

Walking to the elevator, she impatiently hit the elevator call button several times. As she waited, Miranda began to tap her foot as her anger started to mix with anxiety of what she might find. As her mind started playing out scenarios, each one more outrageous than the first, the sound of someone coming down the steps brought her back to reality and she shook her head trying to get the visions out of her head.

As the door opened, Miranda stepped back in surprise at who was inside. "Lizzie."

Lizzie, who's head had been down as she descended the stairs, looked up and her breath hitched softly at seeing Miranda in front of her. Slowly, almost pushing herself forward, she walked out into the hall and the two girls looked at each other cautiously.

Miranda was studying Lizzie's face, or more specifically her eyes. "_Is she crying?"_ It was amazing how while she was still angry with her, she was concerned about her friend. It was also ironic, how her mind immediately went to one cause of Lizzie's sadness. "_What did that bastard do?"_

Opening her mouth to say something, Miranda watched Lizzie walk towards her and then past her. As she was along side, Lizzie simply said, "Take care of him." Stunned and caught off guard, Miranda could only turn around to watch her walk away.

Lizzie went past Miranda and walked down the hall to their room, only pausing for a brief moment after swiping her door key. She looked back at Miranda for a brief moment, giving her a weak smile before entering her room. Still rooted to her spot, Miranda just stared at where she had been, "_What the hell was that? Take care of him. Who's him? Gordo?"_ Glancing back at the elevator doors, "_What happened up there?"_

Walking back to the their room, she swiped her own card key and entered the room, only to find it empty. "Lizzie?" Miranda called out as she took a quick survey of the room. "_Maybe she's in the other room."_

Going to the door that joined the girls' room with Mrs. McGuire's, she had just started to reach for the doorknob when it turned and the door opened a little. Mrs. McGuire slipped through the opening and into the girls' room.

"Mrs. McGuire, where did," Miranda started to ask but Mrs. McGuire cut her off.

"Lizzie is in my room right now," she said simply.

"Why?" Miranda asked immediately, "What happened?"

Mrs. McGuire sighed softly, "Its not my place to say. When Lizzie is ready, I'm sure she'll tell you." Mrs. McGuire didn't know all the pieces but she had a good idea of the overall picture. Even if she wanted to, there was nothing she could do and could only hope the situation didn't get worse.

"Can I talk to her?"

Pursing her lips together, Mrs. McGuire shook her head no. "Not right now. She needs sometime by herself. I'll let her know you were looking for her, though." Before Miranda could say anything else, Mrs. McGuire went back to her room and shut the door behind her.

Frustrated by the lack of answers, Miranda scowled at the shut door. As much as she wanted answers, she knew storming in there was a bad idea. "_There is someone who would know,"_ she thought and with that quickly left the room and headed back for the roof.

Moments later, Miranda bounded up the stairs to the roof, taking them almost three at a time. Throwing the door open, she stormed out on to the roof. As she charged across towards Gordo, she saw him sitting on the edge of the roof, his head in his hands. She knew that look, he was beating himself up about something.

She thought she had known him pretty well, they had been friends for a long time and best friends starting in Junior High, but it was nothing compared to being his girlfriend. A few months into their relationship, she started to notice little things like body language. Gordo was very guarded with his emotions but if one knew how to read his body language, they could get a better understanding of him. This insight occurred to Miranda suddenly one night.

Miranda had been working on her homework while Gordo was writing a presentation for his english class. He hated talking in public and much preferred working from the shadows. Miranda couldn't help but notice how he was constantly scratching his head and messing with hair, when he wasn't drumming his fingertips on his keyboard. As she watched him, she started thinking back on other odd things, odd for Gordo, that he had done. Like when he was embarrassed, the ground would become the most fascinating thing in the world and he would hide his hands behind his back, or when he was really nervous, he couldn't stop shaking and his hands and arms would keep moving as Gordo would begin to ramble.

For a brief moment, she felt for him but then quickly remembered she was pissed off at him.

"Hurting me wasn't enough, you decide to take a crack at Lizzie too," Miranda shouted as she approached and Gordo lifted his head, watching her warily. "She wouldn't go all the way and you got mad?" Miranda asked him sarcastically, purposely trying to antagonize him and it worked. As soon as she said it, Gordo was on his feet.

Enraged, "Watch your mouth," he snapped as he quickly met her halfway.

"What a surprise, Gordo coming to poor, helpless Lizzie's defense," Miranda snarled in his face, "Someone says something bad about your little angel and you get all mad. Its been the same way for fifteen years."

"At least she doesn't say the first stupid thing that pops in to her head," he shot back, "Your problem is you're always looking for a fight. Not everyone is out to get you. Not Lizzie, and especially not me. But everytime I tried to do something for you, you attack me."

"Cause what you try to do, is always planned to death," she said as she poked him in the chest. "True romance isn't planned, it just happens." She then gave him a sarcastic grin, "I bet you can't even do anything spontaneously. It'd fry that super computer you call a brain."

Gordo didn't want to, and couldn't resist to, let Miranda's challenge just pass but he had hoped to come up with something more than the juvenile response that came out, "I can too!"

Miranda's smirk widened as she knew Gordo was rattled. "Prove it," she said coolly, "You prolly can't," she continued to taunt him, "You probably can't even do the simplest thing, like say the first thing that pops into your head. It's prolly too difficult even for a genius like yourself."

Having enough, the words just seemed to come out of his mouth, "If you'd shut up for more than five seconds," Gordo yelled at her, "I'd tell you that I love you!" and there it was. He had said the first thing that popped into his head and it had landed him in a heap of trouble.

Watching Miranda's expression quickly falter into one of complete shock and surprise, Gordo grew nervous and scarred. "_Nice, you moron._ _You couldn't just let it slide, once again, you had to challenge Miranda and try to be spontaneous. Well nice job, not only did you do it but you end up putting your damn foot in your mouth."_

Miranda could only stare blankly back at him as her mind went spinning widely as his words kept repeating in her head. "_He loves me?"_


	5. Lie In The Bed You Make

A/N – _"Thoughts"_

Part 5 – Lie In The Bed You Make

As Miranda and Gordo stared silently at each other, time seemed to slow down and the tension continued to mount. Both were waiting for the other to make the next move and neither wanting to make it. Both unsure of what to make of the situation, there had never been quite a moment like this between them.

As Miranda stood there, letting his words sink in and trying to process it. _"He can't. This as gotta be some sorta of sick joke,"_ she thought, but as she continued to stare at him, there was a voice in the back of her head, _"But what if it's not? What if he really does…feel that way."_

At the same time, Gordo was continuing to berate himself for not just taking her bait but also letting slip how he felt. These were feelings he had buried as deeply as he could after their breakup, and in one gloriously stupid move, he believed that he had not just let them only out, but completely jeopardized whatever was left of any kind of friendship they could rebuild. This, on top of what just happened between Lizzie and him, was making him start to panic.

After what was really barely a minute, but felt like several hours, Miranda was finally able to stutter out, "What?"

Having too much time to think, and come up with the worst case scenario in his mind, Gordo decided to try and make a run for it. "Nothing," he mumbled as he lowered his head. "I didn't say anything. You're right, I can't be spontaneous." Trying to avoid any eye contact, he tried to walk by her, heading for the roof exit.

But when he was shoulder to shoulder with her, Miranda quickly reached out, grabbed his elbow, and forcefully spun him and her around so they were facing. "Don't be a coward, especially not now."

Anger flashing in him, "Damn it Miranda. This is what I'm talking about."

Instead of fighting back, Miranda looked away for a moment and mumbled, "I'm sorry." Then slowly bring her face back, "But…But what did you say?" She cringed as she heard her own voice, she wanted to be stronger but there was something about Gordo that brought out a vulnerability in her.

Gordo closed his eyes as he let out a long breath and ran a shaky hand through his hair in frustration. In his wildest dreams, he had never imagined telling a girl that he loved her quite this way, much less his ex-girlfriend. Slowly reopening his eyes, he felt whatever resistant left in him quickly crumble as Miranda's doe like, black eyes seemed to bore into his. "I…I said," pausing for a moment to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat, "thatIloveyou," he finished so quickly that it sounded like gibberish.

Even though it had come out as a jumbled mess, Miranda had clearly understood him. Saying the first thing that popped into her head, "Why?" she flinched as it flew out of her mouth and tried to quickly recover, "I mean…after…Well, after everything, how could you still…you know. Ah hell…Why?" Then titling her head a little down to the side, "It doesn't matter anymore I guess, you prolly don't really feel that way any more anyway."

Again, the words just seemed to come out of his mouth without prompt, "I still do," Gordo said softly and Miranda's eyes snapped up at him and looked at him in surprise once again. Before she could say anything else, "As much as you frustrate and irritate the hell out of me, especially lately, I still feel…," he looked up for a moment, searching for the right words, "well, whatever it is."

"Than why have you been such a jackass?"

"Cause I wanted to hurt you," Gordo answered, "As much as you hurt me when you broke up with me." Shuffling his feet, "I knew we were having some problems but I never thought you'd break up with me. I felt hurt, betrayed, and felt like…," he paused for a moment, trying to make himself finish. Trying to talk about his emotions wasn't his strong suit but he felt the need to tell her how he felt, "Like the one person who was closest to me, threw me away."

Miranda felt like a sucker punch had just slammed into her stomach. Walking away from him and to the stone edge of the rooftop, she sat down and placed her chin in her hands. _"What am I doing? Aren't I supposed to be mad at him? Am I still mad?"_ Hearing him come to a stop in front of her, she slowly looked up, _"I'm still upset with him but I do miss him. How can he be in love with me? Especially after everything?"_

Surprised at how small her voice made her sound, "How do you know you're still in love with me? Or even in love with me in the first place?"

Gordo shrugged as he sat down next to her, "Cause no matter how mad, angry, upset, whatever…there's still this small piece of me, that wants to be with you. At first, I thought I was just sore from the breakup but it just won't go away and the longer it stays, the more frustrated I get. I think that's why I started being a jackass with you."

Nodding slightly, Miranda had another question, "What is…I mean…how do you know," she then snapped her mouth shut and snarled a little in frustration at not being able to ask her question. It wasn't because she was completely afraid to, _"Not completely, just slightly,"_ but it was because she couldn't figure out how to ask what she wanted to know.

Looking at her for a moment, "How do I know I'm in love with you to begin with?" he asked. When she nodded almost shyly, he grinned a little. "I don't know. I mean, I don't have much to compare it with. Its just that I've never really felt this way before, so I'm not completely sure what it is. I'm not even sure how to explain it." Looking over his shoulder at the night skyline, Gordo sighed softly, "I miss you when you're not around." When Miranda smiled a little, Gordo cringed a little, "Ok, I know that sounded corny but it's just…When you're around, I feel…normal. Like I'm not some freak with a high IQ. I feel like a normal teenager who's not so alone. Also, even though you tease me about stuff, I know you're always there for me and it's kinda of…I don't know…comforting." Looking at his hands as he rung them together, "I like how no matter how much of a tough exterior you try to put up, deep down, you're as confused and scared of stuff as I am."

Then a sly smile crept on his face and Miranda watched him in fascination. Gordo glanced at her, "I will deny this later but….the pda was a nice bonus." As Miranda snickered, Gordo smile widened as he looked down at the ground, a little embarrassed.

After a moment or two, Gordo continued to gaze at the floor as he spoke again, "I hate seeing you upset, especially cause I'm the reason."

"Good," Miranda said suddenly and then grinned sheepishly at him as he chuckled softly.

"I just want to make you feel how I felt."

"I get it," she told him, "that's really why I came up here tonight." Miranda watched Gordo nod slowly as he understood.

"Can I ask you something?"

"I guess."

Taking a deep breath, Gordo asked what he had been wanting to know for a few months now, "Why did you break up with me?"

After listening to Gordo talk, it was like all the pieces of her puzzle came into place. Twirling a lock of her hair around her index finger, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly before answering. "Cause I was scared." Before he could ask what she was scared of, "I've never let anyone in this close to me, not even Lizzie, and it scared me. I've never felt this way either. I don't even know what this was. Its just, when you were around, I was…happy."

This time it was Gordo's turn to snicker. "Shut up," Miranda said sarcastically.

"You know how to handle my," she paused for a moment to pick the right word.

Taking the moment to finish her sentence, Gordo said, "Mood swings," and Miranda punched him lightly in the arm.

"I started getting a little scared about how dependent my happiness was on you. Than one of my aunts, got into my mom's head about how I shouldn't be dating one boy so seriously at my age and that I was missing out in life. I didn't really believe it but it kept rattling around in my head. I started to wonder what I was missing or what else was out there. I knew I really cared for you and that I really liked being your girlfriend…but, I still wondered. Than I started thinking that you might have been thinking the same thing and somehow in my warped mind, it made me angry that you could possibly thinking about some other girl…and…that's what started the implosion. It was stupid but…I don't know. I feel vulnerable with you. You know the weak points and that I'm not always the cocky, out there rebel that I want everyone to think I am. You know the truth."

Gordo looked at her for a few moments before he spoke, "So what now?"

"Right now?" she asked, though it was more of a statement, "I need to tell you something." Briefly pausing, "If what you just said, means that you love me," Gordo opened his mouth to say something but Miranda knew he was going to say he didn't know what it was, so she held up her hand to stop him, "let me finish. If, if, what you said, means that you love me…than…." She looked away shyly for a moment but quickly returned to stare into his clear blue eyes, "I love you too."

The two looked at each other for a moment, a small smile on both their faces.

"We have a lot of shit to work through just to save our friendship but eventually…I like to be together again," Miranda said, "I mean if you do."

Gordo slid across the stone banister, so that he was closer, "I'd like that."

Miranda slowly reached up and tugged at one of the curls in his hair. "You know you're going for a haircut when we get back," she teased. Since the breakup, Gordo had let his hair grow back to the way it had been at the end of eighth grade.

"Why?" he asked sarcastically, "Lizzie likes my hair like this."

Not missing a beat, "My point exactly." Miranda laughed softly for a moment but then sobered a little, "Gordo?"

"Hmm?"

"What happened with Lizzie?" Miranda flinched as a look of intense hurt pulsed through Gordo's eyes. When he didn't answering right away, Miranda grew nervous, "Gordo, what?"

"She asked me to stay with her here in Rome."

"Oh," was all Miranda could say. Lizzie coming out of the elevator made sense now, "And you turned her down." Gordo slowly nodded as he looked away. "I'm sorry," Miranda said softly.

"For what?" Gordo asked her in surprise.

Trying to stay mature and ignore the little voice that was howling in triumph that he had picked her over Lizzie, "I know how much Lizzie means to you and it couldn't have been easy to turn her down like that."

"I hurt her, I just," before he could finish, Miranda interrupted him.

"You hurt her but if you take the full blame for it, I'll kick your ass," Miranda threatened. "Lizzie knew what she was doing and what she was asking you to do. All you did was say no, she has to lie in the bed she's made now."

"What's worse," Gordo said softly, "I screwed up your guys' friendship."

Miranda shook her head no, "We did a nice job screwing that up on our own. I guess…me and Liz…are just drifting. We don't really talk that much anymore and we're literally miles apart. We'll always be friends, I just don't think we'll be as good of ones again." Taking a deep breath, she tried again to be the bigger woman, "You and Lizzie will work this out, you always do. You have this connection with each other that I don't really understand but I know that I can't stop. Me on the other hand, I don't really care. Maybe we'll eventually get past this but as long as I have you, I don't really care."

"Rand."

Miranda stood up and held her hand out to Gordo, "Come on, we better get back." Sighing softly, Gordo took her hand and standing up, they walked together towards the roof exit and back downstairs into the hotel.

Reaching their rooms, Miranda and Gordo grinned at each other awkwardly, not sure how to say goodnight to each other. Settling for a hug, Miranda hugged him and whispered, "Goodnight."

"Night Rand."

Miranda stayed in the hall and watched Gordo walking into his room and shut the door behind him. Turning around, Miranda entered her room and sighed as she looked around. Lizzie's stuff had been removed from the room and more than likely, was brought into Mrs. McGuire's room next door. Looking down at what had been Lizzie's perfectly made bed, what she had said to Gordo came back to her, _"She's made her bed and now she as to lie in it."_


	6. What Lies Ahead?

This is going to be my last Lizzie McGuire update for awhile. I'm going to take a little break because I need to recharge and I also want to focus on getting my Harry Potter story done. I'm still going to write another chapter for Looking Back but I'm not sure when I'll actually get to it. I'll still be around reading and reviewing, and you can also catch me on my LiveJournal (in my profile).

A/N – "_Thoughts"_

Part 6 – What Lies Ahead?

Gordo sat quietly in the cab as it drove from the hotel to the airport. The final few days in Rome had been awkward to say the least. Lizzie had spent most of the final days bunkered down in her mother's room as Miranda and Gordo would spend time in the neighborhood around the hotel. The few times Miranda and Lizzie were together, the tension was so thick that nobody was comfortable. Lizzie was depressed and Miranda was agitated, sticking Gordo in the middle.

Lizzie had been reluctant to go with them to the airport, but Mrs. McGuire had convinced her that she'd regret not saying goodbye. When they saw each other, Miranda and Lizzie barely acknowledge each other and in the cab. Miranda had taken the front seat, while Mrs. McGuire sat in between Lizzie and Gordo in the backseat.

As they drove, Gordo stared out the window, wondering what the hell had happened to him. His best friend was avoiding him and while things with his girlfriend, "_Well, technically she's my girlfriend again,"_ were better than they had been, but he still felt like he was walking on eggshells. As much as he cared for Lizzie, Gordo was looking forward to going home.

Pulling up in front of the airport, the driver got out and put their bags on a cart. As Gordo was helping the driver, Miranda was standing on the curb, looking like she couldn't wait to board the plane. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Lizzie glancing at her every few seconds. "_Please let them get those stupid suitcases on the cart, so we can get the hell away from her."_

She almost got her wish. When they finished, the driver got back into his cab to wait for Lizzie and Mrs. McGuire for the trip back. As Gordo was saying goodbye to Mrs. McGuire, Lizzie tentatively approached Miranda.

"Hi," Lizzie said softly.

Miranda glared at her for a second before quickly looking away.

Lizzie took a deep breath and pressed on, "I hope you had a nice time," she said weakly and Miranda barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "I'm glad you came," Lizzie tried again, to which Miranda scoffed and glared dangerously at her.

Lizzie sighed softly, knowing she was trying to fight a hopeless battle. She had screwed up royally; in her single mindedness to win Gordo back, she had almost completely destroyed the friendship with one of her closest friends. "I'm sorry Mir, I didn't think," she started to apologize but Miranda cut her off.

"You're right, you didn't think. You didn't give a damn about me; the only thing you cared about was what you wanted." Miranda folded her arms across her chest as she continued, "You think you can simply apologize and everything will be alright. It's not going to work this time." Taking a step forward, Miranda used their height difference as a way to intimidate her. "The only reason I don't kick your ass is cause you were once my best friend and David, for some reason, still cares about you."

Lizzie swallowed hard as she tried not to show that she was intimidated. "Once?"

Miranda gave her a harsh, sarcastic laugh. "You honestly think I'd trust you again enough to still be my best friend?"

Tugging at the hem of her shirt, Lizzie tried to pull herself together. "Do you think we could ever be just friends again?"

This time it was Miranda who sighed softly, and for a brief moment, the anger disappeared from her face, "I don't know." Running a hand though her hair, she looked away for a moment. "_I am angry at her but it would be weird to just have her cut out of my life completely."_ Continuing to play with her hair, she slowly looked back at Lizzie, "Maybe. I don't know." Dropping her hand, "I can't answer that right now. Maybe someday, when things aren't as…strained."

"Oh," Lizzie said softly under her breath, "Fair enough."

"Everything alright girls?" Mrs. McGuire asked warily.

"Yea," Lizzie answered as Miranda just nodded. "I'm going to go say bye to Gordo," Lizzie said as she turned and walked away. Miranda watched her and could tell she had dealt a heavy blow to Lizzie, like she had wanted to since the beginning of the trip. Now, though, it wasn't as satisfying as she thought it would be.

Gordo was leaning against the luggage cart and watched Lizzie slowly approach. She tried to give him a weak smile, to which he grinned back, but he could tell that she was hurting. "At the very least, it's been interesting," Gordo joked.

She gave him a tired laugh. "I'm gonna miss you, Gordo."

"I'm going to miss you too, Liz," he said as he hugged her. Looking over Lizzie's shoulder, Gordo saw Miranda trying not to be obvious about watching them, but as she was half listening to Mrs. McGuire, she constantly was glancing over at them.

Pulling back, Gordo looked at Lizzie and told her, "Things will work out. Eventually, you two will be talking about all that girlie crap again, instead of annoying me with it."

She forced herself to grin at him, "Maybe, but things will never be the same."

Gordo shrugged, "Life never stays the same. Children grow up and chase their dreams."

"I hate it when you get philosophical," Lizzie said sarcastically and Gordo snickered. "Enough about me and Miranda," Lizzie took a deep breath and then said, "I want to know about us. Are we going to be ok?"

"We will be," Gordo told her, "We've been friends since we were babies and I'm not ready to throw that away. As long as you know that nothing is going to happen between us right now. I love Miranda and I don't want to hurt her anymore."

Trying to swallow her pride and hurt, Lizzie said, "I get you. It won't change how I feel but…I'm willing to live with it; you're too much of my life to not have you with me." Lizzie hugged him once more. "I'm gonna miss you, Gordo," she told him, her voice cracking a little as she tried not to cry.

"Haven't we been though this already?" he teased back. "But I'm gonna miss you too. Are you going to be back in the States any time soon?"

"I'm trying to arrange it so I can come back for Christmas."

"Cool," Gordo smiled at her, "Be careful. I can't exactly save your butt an ocean away," he teased.

Lizzie let out the first real laugh she had in days, "You too. I can't exactly mediate any fights between you two anymore." The two friends smiled at each other and hugged once again before parting. "Bye, Gordo," she said softly and waved at him.

"Bye, Liz."

As Miranda and Gordo, who was pushing the luggage cart to the check-in counter, walked away, Mrs. McGuire walked over to her daughter. "You ok, baby?" she asked in a motherly tone.

Wiping away a few stray tears, "Yea," she said as she watched her friends disappear inside the airport. "I'm gonna miss them but I'm going to be ok."

A few hours later, with their plane somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, Gordo was growing restless. He was getting bored with the in-flight movie and a little cramped from the uncomfortable seats. As he tried to get comfortable, he casually looked over at Miranda sitting next to him. She starred blankly out the window, absentmindedly biting her fingernails. He knew that when she was agitated about something, she had the nervous habit many did of biting their nails.

Gordo grabbed her hand and pulled it away from her mouth. "You going to talk to me or chew away the last of your nails and then complain about them two days later?" he asked sarcastically.

Miranda stayed quiet for a moment, continuing to stare out the window as Gordo held her hand. "Randi," Gordo said softly as he leaned forward for a better look at her face.

As she slowly looked away from the window and at Gordo, a soft sigh escaped from her lips. "It's just sorta sinking in, everything that's happened. I can't believe I lost my best friend."

"You didn't lose her," Gordo start to tell her again, trying to make her feel better but Miranda cut him off.

"Yes I did," she said. "We may be friends again, we may even be good friends again, but we'll…never be that close again. I can't trust her like I used to, this…just cuts too deep. I guess girls are just closer than boys." Miranda looked away from Gordo to the back of the seat in front of her as a sad smile crossed her face. "When we were younger, we made up this secret club, just the two of us. We made up our sayings, spend hours just doing the strangest stuff, but we thought it was cool." She then started laughing a little. "We must've been eight or nine when we created our own code and then like three months later we lost the key. Couldn't figure out half the stuff we wrote, and we created the code." She quickly sobered and bit the inside of her cheek as she tried not to cry as she continued to reminisce.

Gordo felt for her and tried again to cheer her up. Grinning at her, "So you have been keeping stuff from me?" he said sarcastically. Miranda tried hard to not smile but glancing at Gordo, she lost it and her lips twitched into a smile.

"Like you would've wanted to spend hours every day after school planning you're dream wedding to Josh Hartnett," she shot back. Miranda leaned into him as she they started laughing a little, ignoring the weird, curious looks from their neighboring passengers.

Settling down after a few seconds, Miranda kissed Gordo's cheek. "Thanks."

"Anytime, beautiful."

"David," she said softly as she sat back up in her seat, "Things will get better? Right?"

Gordo nodded slowly. "We'll get home, sort some stuff out, and then we can have a secret meeting where you tell me all about our dream wedding."

Miranda snorted and backhanded Gordo, "You wish." Finally starting to relax a little, and as the knot in her stomach slowly untwisted, she felt the exhaustion from the past few weeks catch up to her. After a large yawn, she shifted in her seat and rested her head against Gordo's shoulder.

"So I'm your pillow now?" he joked as Miranda closed her eyes.

Simply mumbling, "Mmmhmm," Miranda fell into a light sleep.

Gordo just snickered and rolled his eyes as he watched her sleep for a moment before turning his attention back to the in-flight movie. As he stared at the screen, not really watching the movie, he started to think, "_Things will get better? Right?"_ he asked himself, repeating Miranda's question from moments earlier. Glancing down at the sleeping girl against him, a small smile creped on his face and he shifted a little so he could wrap his arm around her chest. "_Yeah, they will," _he thought_, "It's time to let go of the past and move on."_


End file.
